01 September 2004

Begat By The Unholy Marriage of Marion Jones and Jenna Jameson...

Sitting at the bar with some colleagues in town last week, we marvelled at the plethora of obscure sports in the Olympics.

"Synchronized Diving?!"
"Hey if Curling made it in..."
"Sure but what's next?"
"Sex. They seem to have enough in the Olympic Village."
"I'd like to see them test for doping. 'But my doctor prescribed the Viagra for my, uh, flu.'"
"You'd have your artistic scores and your technical scores. You, know the difficulty of positions, duration..."
"'Faster, higher, stronger' indeed..."
"I think 'longer' and 'harder' would have to be added also..."
"Would multiple orgasms count for the technical or artistic score?"
"Dunno but just think of all the different categories there could be."
"Hell yeah. Between the various sex toys, positions, and sexual preferences..."
"Cat o' Nine Tails - Hetro.' Has potential."
"(announcer voice)'Representing Italy we have Roberto Cazzogrosso and Valeria Ficaspaccata. They will be attempting the 'Reverse 69 in a Fiat 500' which has a difficulty of 8.5...'"
"(announcer voice)'Oooo that's got to smart. Too much lube and Valeria has finished up on the gearshift. that's going to cost them, Bob...'"
"I dunno you two. I think the judges would have to be involved in some way..."
"Hmmm. Maybe. can you imagine someone's gold being stripped for fake orgasms?"
"They'd have to rename gang-bangs and orgies as 'Relay Sex'"

This is why my preferred euphemism as of late is Passing the Baton.

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