For those just entering into the Resident Dictator's follies and foibles in Rome, the nicknames can get confusing. So here I've put together a list of Nicknames (name linked to first blog mention) and a brief description; later I might even add subsequent entries featuring these people.
Recurring & important characters
- Will (tag)
The Patsy to my Edina, the Will to my Grace. He's the male version of me, only bitchier with a better wardrobe & a higher tolerance for alcohol.
- Olive (tag)
A whip smart, vivacious blond smart ass with some amazing boobs. Thanks to her Ukrainian heritage, she can also drink me under the motherfucking table. Shenanigans ensue.
- Ma Liason (tag)
My current fling of a few months. Will and Olive are pretty insistent that I start using the (*shudder*) Boyfriend word, seeing as I've met some of his family & been to his Confirmation, amongst other details. Me, I'm just gonna take it one day at a time...*deeeeeeep panic attack inhibiting breaths*
- Resident Dictator's Evil Henchwoman (tag)
my (middle) little sister. Fuck with her at your own peril boys.
- Larry (tag)
part 1 of the Larry & Curly Dynamic Alcoholic Duo; former work colleagues and really good friends. Larry
iswas the bigger whore-boy of the two. Will not bloody shut up sometimes. Thought he had a chance at getting into my pants. Riiight.
- Curly (tag)
part 2 of the Dynamic Alcoholic Duo. Very very good friend. Likes grabbing my tits when drunk. Male partner in secondary virginity spells.
RecentlyAt one point out-studded Larry by ending his year-long secondary virgin status by boinking a (self-proclaimed) lesbian.
- Enemy, Destroyer of Queens, Angel of Broken Hearts, Great Beast that is called Weasel, Prince of Thieving Bastards, Father of Liars, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Mindgames. Or Shithead for short (tag)
Ex fiancé. Currently with privileges, subject to termination at any time.Ex-fiancé who I made the huge fucking mistake of giving a second chance. He became my fiancé again, and is now once again the Capital S Shithead Ex-fiancé. I would demote him to Semi-Major status, but in all honesty can't just yet, seeing as I
- will be filling in the pieces of 2009/2010 and
- stupidly dated the fucking asshole for a total of 7 years (ugh. Love is apparently a deaf, dumb, and blind masochistic doormat.)
Demoted from Major Players
- The Best Girl Friend aka the BG - Former partner in crime. She screwed me over, so I'll probably rethink her nickname at some point. I apparently am a damned lousy judge of character. See Also: Shithead & Others to Be Listed in the Near Future
- Fucking Possessive Jealous French Canadian Leech from Hell(tag)
the BG's other half
- Mr. Boink Buddy aka Mr. BB(tag)
Giver of the squardo assassino. Friend who I let have privileges at one point,
currentlythen rescinded said privileges because he kissed some other chick in front of me: channel some Arethea Franklin, fuckwit.
- Sette Camicie(tag)
summer fling who I made sweat through 7 shirts (as the saying in Italian goes)
- Rebound Boy Toy - Italian boy with whom I had a 3 month rebound relationship. Lived with his mother at the time (I won't be making that mistake again)
- Mr. Pervy Bear - Who I rented a room from at one point.
- Mr. & Mrs. Hairy Romanian Guy - The couple who also shared my flat with Mr. Pervy Bear
One offs & amusing antidotes
- Drool Boy - One of a cast of thousands of club bunny wanna-be mack daddies
- Sig. Toglie Pantaloni - He took off his pants.
- Cream Your Panties Boy - Male underwear model we met in a disco
- Overgrown RenFest Boy(s) - One of the many idjits I have worked with in the past
- Mr. Oozing Git/ Il Calamaro di Ferro - Former Drooler-onto of BG's Tits. Another giver of the squardo assassino. Got us into clubs/ onto priveè lists.