It's Call Reciprocity Motherfuckers

(Though knowing me I completely fucked the spelling.)

A little bird has told me that certain parties have developed the DT's due to my sparse updating lately.

What's going on:

- I have a 950 page manual in Italian to read by Sunday so I can configure work's new Windows 2003 server.

- I'm thisclose to bitchslapping the BG for various work reasons as wells as the fact that she can't be arsed to used a screwdriver (but can be arsed to kevetch)

- I haven't heard from Shithead.

- I'm on the rag.

- Next week I have an appointment to get my legs waxed, followed by a fun little Pap smear test on Thursday.

- I have just realised that I have:

a work related trip to Athens beginning of December
a trip back to Dallas mid December
a work related trip to Austria beginning of January
and a work related trip to Dublin end of January

which leaves me the rest of this month and next to:

get the new server up and running
get the new management software up and running
redesign our websites
redesign the side project website
redo our flyer

...

Updating sparse? You don't say.

Make y'all a deal. See that little link below that says "Comments"? Gimmee feedback. I don't even know how many faithful readers I have garnered with Google referrals like:

- is it possible to fuck your own belly button? (no)
- bruce willis' belly button (ick?)
- mother daughter perm (one handed typing eh?)
- oozing snatch (ick.)
- leaking belly button (see a doctor people)
- how to get a pretty, hair free belly button (Nair.)
- leotard padding (socks.)
- my belly button lint smells (why the fuck are you sniffing your bellybutton lint?)

So F-E-E-D-B-A-C-K y'all. Gimmee something, anything to bounce off of as my brain is doing the equivalent of the BSOD* on blog topics/entries. And no, you're not really motherfuckers.

I hope.



*Windows infamous Blue Screen of Death

Close but no cigar

Despite the fact that this blog leans more towards "a girl and her vibrator" theme I apparently am 8th when googling for "a boy and his penis".

I suppose it could be worse; "A boy and his penis lint" would have been more disturbing. Though I am wondering if "ballerina fuck" is some new term along the lines of a Dirty Sanchez or a Chinese Dragon. Does it involve tulle and tiaras? Or anorexia and infected blisters?

Though the Eucaristic Host does sort of taste like it....

...the appropriate Catholic festival you should be searching for is LENT, not "Lint".

Regards,

A Recovering Catholic

This public service announcement brought to you by the search engine referrals:

"when is the catholic holiday of lint?"
and
"when the fuck is lint?"

Google Toolbar Induces Projectile Vomiting

My Google toolbar has decorated itself for Valentine's Day. Hurl. Where's the "I'm Feeling Like Slowly Torturing That Fat Diaper Wearing Fuck With the Heart Tipped Arrows" button?

addendum or however the fuck you spell it: I think the referrals from ask.com are trying to tell me something:

"what does it mean when girls get wet?"

A) It's raining.
B) She's about to throw you on your back and ride you like an epileptic being electrocuted on the mechanical ponies outside Walmart.

Pick one.

More Fun with referrals

from www.ask.com:

are you hornier when your on your period?

Yes. I also have a tendency to bludgeon illiterate your/you're manglers with a rusty dull spoon or the nearest bloody tampax, depending on whichever instrument is closest to hand.

edit:You peeps who found your way here by Googling for 'ass lint' disturb me. A lot. But not as much as those searching for 'penis lint'. I mean, come on, penis lint?! What the fuck kind of fuzzy underwear does one indoss to encourage the spawning of penis lint? Is this a plushie thing? Gah.

State of the Naval Address

Just a quick note to let you faithful 10 readers and those of you stumbling into the Favoloso Mondo through sundry search terms that i'm still around, just busy.

Work as usual, plus various family visits is limiting my spare time. My middle sister was here at the beginning of November and currently my dad, youngest uncle, and 79 year old grandmother are visiting rome for the first time. It's proving to be less mentally scarring than I had originally anticipated, which is a Good Thing(tm).

I've even snagged myself some new webhosting to eventually post the old archives. Well, as soon as I find someone with a credit card so I can buy myself a domain. Eventually I'll update and continue Lo sguardo assassino. Like after the rellies have gone home. In the meantime, I leave you with a list of search engine referrals to amuse yourselves.

• groin itch
• belly button guys
• american girl rome
• girls free in rome
• colletion scout italy
• lip smackers allergy
• i start sneezing
• antihistemine
• attractive male belly buttons
• belly busting exercises
• belly button competition
• belly button lint
• crotch gazing
• Food inside belly button
• kissing her belly button
• big belly button ladies
• nipple twisting
• she gets around pic

Fun with Referrers #1

Search terms used to find this blog:

fucking belly button

The Internet: Helping me to collect weird fetishes since 1999.

How Am I Supposed to Start a Lucrative Career as a CamWhore if my Free Hosting goes *blork*?

So the free hosting service I was using has discontinued PHP support. Broken blogs make the Baby Jeebus cry, so here we are at temporary digs until I can:

a) Find enough time to find a cheap host that fits my needs (not just blog related)
b) Find someone who owns a credit card so I can pay for it and a real domain name as I do not own plastic.

This might just get me off my ass on doing a redesign, though. Maybe.

Give me some incentive punks.

Right. So obviously old entries are stuck on a database backup languishing on my computer and are therefore unavailable. If you came here while googling for:

• penis itch
• female itch
• groin itch
• anal itch
• girl kissing nude
• non nude girl kissing
• green guy porn

you're shit out of luck for now.

Color Me REALLY FUCKING Disturbed

My first name and my father's first name begin with the same letter. A female acquaintance of his has apparently mistaken my Hotmail address for my father's.

Nothing explicit, merely implied, but still, there are some mental images a girl should not have where her father is concerned. Which brings me to another disturbing thought:

My Hotmail account is 99.99999% spam. I don't use it for correspondence any more, though I occasionally peruse the spam folder just to make sure some long lost correspondent doesn't slip through the cracks. Of said spam, a lot of it is for a demographic that I am not a part of: the fat, horny, under-endowed, paranoid, balding and married-about-to-be-divorced demographic.

Let's see here:

Sunday 12 August - Green Eggs and Spam

The word 'spam' tickles my linguistic funny bone. That and I like the phrase "Spam - the *other* meat substitute"

You really don't want to know exactly why I find that phrase funny. Anywho....

I have an old Hotmail account that's currently good for shit. It was my first email address, and I hold onto it for the mere fact that every once in a while an old acquaintance will email me at that address. Other than that, it's a massive receptacle for spam. Some of which perplex and amuse me with their subject lines or sender names.

is your phone tapped
OH NO! Could it be?! *Gasp* Someone listening in on my conversations? Shit, now the feds are going to know where I hid that stash of drugs, guns, terrorists, porn, and gummi bears. Dude, if my life was ever so interesting as to warrant someone listening in on my infrequent and extremely short phone conversations, I would already have minions and underlings insuring nothing of the sort would occur.

From: Low Cost Divorce
Who the fuck put me in the "married" demographic of the spam lists?

Who else wants a bigger penis?
Honey, I would settle for just about any penis right about now.

Someone is waiting to date you online
I might be horny, but I'm not desperate.

Grow 3-4 inches Satisfaction guaranteed
Woo-hoo! I can finally surpass the 5' 1" barrier without high heels. Wait, what do you mean "for men only".....?