"I, Mon Amour, take you Ginestra..."
"No you have to say her name instead of Ginestra"
"Well you just said to read this."
Here I am already getting giggly. Then it was my turn
"You have to say Mon Amour instead of Luca"
*snicker snicker giggle* "Got it."
"Ahem. I, Resident Dictator, take you..."
And as I read the word "Luca", Reader, I lost it. A five minute hysterical semi-nervous stress-induced tears running down my face giggle fest ensued, with a bewildered Padre, my amused but equally bewildered mother, and a bemused Mon Amour looking on.
Fast forward to the wedding. One of the many things that fell to the wayside due to lack of time was printing our own programs. I had briefed my two sisters as to their roles in the mass as my testimone. But Padre Affably Cranky SpaceCake threw a couple of surprises in there. For the "Lord Hear Our Prayers" call and response, he had Middle Sis read out a line from his program.
"May The Lord bless Tiffany and Claudio in...excuse me? Oh. OH. May The Lord bless Resident Dictator and Mon Amour..."
I confess I didn't hear the rest. I already fucked up my eye makeup getting teary eyed during the homily and pronouncing my vows earlier (and let's me tell you trying to surruptiously wipe my accompanying runny nose sans hanky while the photographer is making me feel like there's 40 Papparazzi around is just not possible) Now the last of it was about to smear as well because I fucking lost it again, this time in a church full of people behind me watching my shoulders shake and Padre CrankyPanta glaring at me balefully. Trying to count cherubs on the cieling was of no use; I snorted and sputtered and deep breathed my way through the next 5 minutes until I got it under control.
It was the perfect wedding.
We are almost recovered from the planning and organizing and visits and whatnot.
Now I just have to figure out who has the video of my bitch mother in law throwing rice directly into my eyes with obvious saccharin malice not once but twice... but that's a story for another day :)