08 December 2004

Sesso e la Città Eternà - You Fellas are so Cute When Marking Your Territory

Really. I get this little mental image of y'all lifting your leg and pissing a boundary around the object in question and growling in that way which means "Cross that line and you'll be fertilizer, bub."

Object in question this time being moi.

An old Aussie friend of mine is visiting and staying at my place for a week until his SO arrives, at which point he moves into a hotel. Long ago he acquired the nickname Elephantium Maximus due to a rather puerile, under-the-influence night back before Shithead and I started dating. I had shagged Elephantium Maximus one drunken night before this story starts (which in itself is a story best saved for another time). I digress...

Shithead, Elephantium Maximus and myself were hanging out at Shithead's place. EM was in the bathroom taking his sweet damn time and my back teeth were floating. As I'm pounding on the door, it suddenly flies open without warning, revealing EM holding his inside out pockets out to the sides and his (really enormous)dick hanging out the front of his open fly. I almost pissed myself laughing at the Elephant trick; when i finally came out of the bathroom Elephantium Maximus was promptly baptised with his new name and he and Shithead proceeded to show me more dick tricks*.

There is nothing more hilariously, childishly kinky than two boys manipulating their dicks for my entertainment. That will continue to be a treasured memory well after the point where I become saggy and incontinent.

So EM's visiting and I consequently have seen Shithead every night since last Friday. Excepting Monday when the three of us just had dinner together before head of four separate ways, either he's stayed over at my place or we've styed over at his. Which is not normal. I realise that EM and Shithead were good friends as well back in the day, but EM has only emailed yours truly in recent years, not Shithead. I have a gut feeling (fueled also by a few comments from EM) that someone is feeling, oh I don't know....

...a bit threatened by the presence of (really enormous)dick in my house maybe?!!

Really. It's not like Shithead's under-endowed or even merely average, plus you'd think the fact that he has 10 chronic inadvertent scratch marks on his back would pacify the territorial instinct. Apparently not.

Apart from the inordinate amount of time we've spent together lately and his unsatiable appetite in the bedroom, Shithead is being reaaaaaalllly smoochy. Very, very smoochy. Last night the three of us were playing pool with Marco Bevecomeunaspugna when Miss Drinks the Russian Army Under the Table, the Mayor, the Gibbon, and Eyebrow Boy stopped by the pool hall. As we were planning on leaving after we finished up the game, they opted not to get membership cards and remained behind the barrier. As I'm chatting with them, Shithead saunters up and introduces himself Alpha Male stylee and smooches me on the neck before returning to the table to take my shot.

Marking territory? Methinks yes.

And he's asked me to go on holidays with him in February.

*This is waaaaay before Puppetry of the Penis ever existed as a theatre act. Sometimes I wonder if EM told this story in a drunken stupor to one of the Aussies who started said theatre act....nah.

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