14 August 2006

Two Sides to Every Coin


The SO's & my trip back to his familial home was less than my idea of a perfect vacation, stemming from one of the things I absolutely hate about him:

His ex's.

We've previously established that I will not be one of those girlfriends that insist on all past ties cut and no female friends whatsoever, despite the fact that I am fanatically jealous. In return, I expect not to be regaled with either stories about them nor spend time in their presence, unless he wishes to witness my metamorphosis into a hysterical psychotic bitch.

In the country where the familial home is, the cultural norm is to visit someone whenever the whim strikes. As the SO had loaned some money to the brother of Girl He Lost His Virginity to and Shagged for Old Times Sakes Just Over 2 Years Ago, I was fully expecting that he would see her to pick up monies owed.

I was not expecting to have to endure her presence, in front of his family & Marco Bevecomeunaspugna (who came with us), especially without warning.


The first night she popped over I managed well enough until bedtime, at which point I gave him the Look. the Look is the one well known to males everywhere - it's the one that says "Oh, buddy did you ever fuck up and I'm thisclose to chopping our balls off now."

He just added fuel to the flame by being a prick and saying "Fine, I'll sleep in the other room tonight." Subtext: you're being an unreasonable bitch.

The next morning we all woke early; he & Marco B. to go on a planned two day road trip, me to pack my suitcase and inform him that I wasn't going and would be instead changing my ticket to go home early.

He saw this as me being a jealous bitch, I saw it as not having the common fucking courtesy to respect a request designed to enable me to NOT be a jealous bitch.

Of course, It would have cost me more than an arm and a leg to change my ticket at that point. And his family refused to let me go to a hotel, which simultaneously made me feel better yet worse as hey, he's the one related to them and I'm just the girlfriend acting like a hysterical prat.

Apparently the family were on my side(ish - I have my doubts). SO & Marco B. returned just as I and his aunt & two sisters were heading out the door to take the aunt to the doctor's. "you're still here?" I muttered something about there being no flights and manoeuvred my way past him. SO accompanied us, of course. I steadfastly ignored him lest I burst into tears for the nth time.

One of the sisters & I headed off to see some of her friends; when we returned, the ex was there *again*.

So now it appears that he's just doing whatever he damn well wishes and rubbing my nose in it. More waterworks ensue and I attempt to take a calming walk, but must be accompanied by one of the sisters lest I be kidnapped (the fam's worries, not mine. The mood I was in would have seen any potential kidnapper eviscerated, but only the SO knows how good my aim with breakable objects is).

I slept with the two kiddies that night (upon their request. They're such cool kids that I almost feel that maternal instinct kicking in. ALMOST. Just have to take a ride on the metro to clear that one up.) Slept isn't a good description for tossing and turning and waking up with puffy eyes, the size of golf balls, but we'll pretend it is.

And the following morning we made up. My defences were down as only 6 hours of sleep in 72 punctuated with jags of crying causing sinus blockage to rival a Dutch dyke can do to you. And he had apparently be lectured by his family on appropriate behaviour regarding me (which I found out later from one of his sisters).

And it was at this point I discovered that the bitch had come over on one of those "cultural whims" of her own volition and not been invited by him or the other sister who she was friends with (the latter which I also belatedly found out).

Which if he had told me in the first place, would have avoided the entire mess. On the plus side, the make up sex still hasn't stopped.


Two nights ago the SO turned to me out of the blue (we were smoking out in front of the restaurant we were at) and said in a very moody tone of voice:

"Either you keep Bacco always at your place or else I get to keep him if you leave me because otherwise I'll get too attached to him."

Which meant he was already too attached. I just grinned. It was too cute.

"I mean it."

I grin even bigger.

"No, really, I'm serious."

"You realise that by telling me this you've already admitted you're too attached and are scared that if you fuck up again like on the vacation I'll take him with me."

*affirmative tense grunt and "Who, me?" looking away*

"Well, I guess we'll have to go with the latter then, won't we?"

i don't think I've ever seen a more relieved va bene in my life.

So it seems I have found the perfect outlet for his random bursts of cluckyness. Or not. Might spur on the urge to procreate. We'll see.

In the meantime it's so cute when he babytalks to the cat.

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