21 February 2011

Playing Catch Up, Part I

My Internet connection is being a bitch today, so while I wait for this effing FTP session to finish downloading I figured I'd put up some updated info & fill in some blanks on the cast of characters.

*ahem* When we last left our heroes...

Larry actually was the first of our little enclave to get married. Fell in love with a Scandinavian chick & tied the knot, much to our collective surprise. Unfortunately, right around the same time I was going through the Nuclear Relationship Armageddon II: Revenge of the Nuclear Relationship Armageddon, he too was going through something very similar. Seems she had been cheating on him for some time, and decided she was in love with the other guy.1 He's dusted himself off & is currently back at Uni in Scandinavia to become a web nerd, which really tickles my funny bone to no end.

Curly is still happy as a clam in Berlin. As outlined elsewhere in the archives, he & Miss Former Lesbian were engaged for a couple of days, then mutually called it off as timing wasn't optimal due to visas & obligatory trips to visit families etc. They still stayed together for a while, until it came to light that Miss Former Lesbian had cheated on him with a girl right after he had proposed. She claimed it was because she "wasn't sure" but after she had done the deed she "knew that she only wanted to be with him."2

Curly righteously dumped her ass toot-sweet, though she apparently semi-stalked him from halfway across the globe at random times. Rounding out the bad news section, his father passed away a couple of years ago, and the memorial email Curly wrote brought tears to my eyes even though I had never met his father.

He's been getting into photography, which he's very good at in my only somewhat biases opinion. As well, he's gotten his TEFL certificate and has started teaching English, which cracks me up to no end as his misanthropic streak makes me look like MotherFucking Theresa, but strangely enough he really enjoys it.

He came to visit me this Halloween, and promptly got me in trouble with my flatmates as the two of us and another one of my flatmates got roaring drunk in the kitchen & were obnoxiously loud. Man, I felt like a total shit the next day. I've since realised that my tolerance for alcohol has been diminished by 5 years of what most normal people would term "an occasional round of drinking". Curly & about 90% of my current group of friends would term it "near abstinence." Which reminds me of a joke we came up with:

Q: What is the collective noun for a group of ex-pats?
A: A fifth of ex-pats.

Anywho, it was good to see him & I still miss having him here in Rome. He apparently has a new girlfriend but kept strangely closed mouth on the subject. If he's happy, I'm happy for him. If she hurts him, I will be heading up to Berlin to engage in some "Seig heil my booted foot up some bitch ass" type activities.

Ok that's enough cranky, bad news & cheating type topics for today. Let's hit some more cheerful updates.

Mr. Boink Buddy is married, living in France, and will be a Daddy for the first time come July. The pic of him with a stroller announcing said impending Daddyhood put a grin on my face.

Sette Camicie had a cute little boy with his partner a few years back.

Mr. & Mrs. Hairy Romanian Guy also procreated, though gossip heresay has that one as being yet another weird one for the books. But, hey Babies. Yay.

To round out this edition of Playing Catch Up, I've saved the best news for last.
The Resident Dictator's Evil Henchwoman is engaged and I cannot wait to take incriminating photos at the bachelorette party & pelt her with rice upon exiting the ceremony.

*cough cough*NopressurebutsetafuckingdatealreadysoIcanbuymyticket*cough cough*

1 I really have to wonder what was in Europe's water supply at the time, as the amount of relationships ended due to cheating was obnoxiously abundant. Confirmation bias my ass.
2 Must. Restrain. Urge. To. Rant. About. Cheating. Whores. of Both Sexes. Who. Rationalize. Themselves. Into. Being. The Wronged. Party. GRARRRRR. HULK SMASH.

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