19 July 2012

Knocked Up - Waddling Land Whale

And so we've reached T minus 3 months and I already feel enormous. Sitting for too long hurts, walking for too long hurts, and I have to literally roll myself out of bed. I'm on track weight-wise but man, there is a reason why I am limiting weighing myself to the doc's office visits only; I've never seen those numbers on my scale before and it freaks me out just a little.

I'm so pregnant looking that people are giving us the preggo perks - cutting in line, giving up their seats, etc. By and by large it's been other women, and I always want to fist bump them and say "Props, sistah!" But on the other side of the coin, it's always women who will studiously look out the window as they sit in the designated elderly/preggo seats on the bus as I hang on to the pole next to them or who barrel down the sidewalk expecting me to hustle out of our shared trajectory when I have the agility of a turtle flipped upside down on its back.

I have fun staring these people down with a "Yo momma didn't teach you any manners, did she?" look. Bitchy preggo is bitchy.

The leg swelling has abated somewhat, but the heartburn and acid reflux have returned, beginning punctually at 11pm and waking me up throughout the night, if I'm lucky and it just doesn't keep me up straight through.

I guess Peanut is getting in some early training for the sleepless nights ahead :P

In other non-preggo news, I never want to hear the words "butt plug" and "spreader bar" come out of my mother's mouth again. Thanks a lot, 50 Shades of Grey...gah.

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