20 November 2012

Bad Mamma

Fuck, I'm turning into a mommy blog.

To be expected I guess, when you have the Tit Gnome snarfling away neigh constantly and you're tired of trying to play Angry Birds one handed on your iPhone.

Do you get shunned from the mommy blog clique for using foul language?

Or for admitting that you've knicknamed Peanut:
- the aforementioned Tit Gnome
- Boob Mite
- Boobaholic
- Boobiedipendente
- Cacciona (Big shitter)
- Golosona (glutton)
- Spaccaculo (Ass breaker)
- Frog face (not just because of the boob seeking tongue twitch, but lets face it, infants are vaguely froggy even without it. My frog is cuter than your frog, though. Unless she's implacably screaming at 3am. Then it's debatable...)
- Grunty McGruntypants (followed by...)
- Farty McFartypants (followed by...)
- Poopy McShittypants

What about for admitting that you don't put a hat on her because she fucking hates them and screams bloody murder when you do, and you suspect said screaming is due to the fact that she is cognizant that she looks ridonkulous in them...

Or for not following the Italian breastfeeding advice to keep your diet just as restricted as pregnancy. Fuuuuuck that scientifically unproven bullshit. Mama is eating sushi and rare steaks and gorgonzola and tiramisu whatever else was verboten for the past nine months. (Except alcohol - still on the "occasional sip or two" bandwagon. I am gonna be plastered the first time I have a full glass of wine...)

No comments:

Post a Comment