11 March 2013

You bet your ass I'm Idonea

Subtitled: Observations upon taking the written theoretical test for my Italian driving license, some 20 years after getting my US license

• once I have my license, as a neopatentate (new driver - ha) I can't drive Mon Amour's car for a year (horsepower limits for new drivers) nor go over 100 km an hour for 3 years.

• Studying the road rules book Mon Amour insisted on getting me ("But there's an app for that!" said I), I woke Peanut from her nap one afternoon because I was laughing so hard at the phrase "motorcycles and scooters should not slalom between cars stopped at a traffic light" I asked Mon Amour if he was sure this book was printed in Italy.

• I'm pretty sure at least 50% of said road rules are almost completely ignored in real life. Because otherwise Italy should have some damn orderly traffic instead of the masterfully chaotic vehicular cluster fuck seen on a daily basis.

• I take issue with a single solid white line dividing opposing traffic lanes on a contiguous stretch of asphalt, instead of the yellow lines like the US. Considering a solid white line can also divide two lanes going in the same direction, that seems like a really unintuitive choice asking for accidents.

• when I was knocked up, everyone was all "Oh you don't have to wear your seatbelt since you're preggo" and I would just boogle at the idea that possibly being thrown from a car was in the best interests of both myself and my unborn child. Turns out said exception is only for preggo a with certain medically documented issues.

• it might be false memory and/or my grandma ninja driving style, but I also boggle at
- passing in intersections: Ok
- passing on the right: Ok in certain scenarios
- passing on a curve in a one way road: also Ok

• Mon Amour has ALL THE LICENSES. Which means he can chauffeur, drive a bus, a semi, a row truck, whatever. He can DRIVE ALL THE THINGS. So he broke my balls this week because I wasn't doing the quizzes from the book he insisted on getting me, but doing the ones on the free iPhone app.

"These are the 2013 quizzes. Who knows where that app got its quizzes from."
"It says 2012 Ministry of Transport quizzes. It's easier to do them on my iPhone while nursing Peanut than trying to hold her and a great bloody book."
"And who knows if that's true. You need to do 300 quizzes and memorize them all so you'll be guaranteed to pass."
"Well these books were printed in 2010, saying to use the 2011 answer key tool. And I know how best to study for me, so stop breaking my balls."

He thinks I passed by culo (sheer luck) I won't know how many I missed until tomorrow, but seeing as we got 3 hours of sleep due to a teething Peanut, he might not be that far off mark...

EDIT: HAHAHAHAHA I only got one answer wrong out of forty (4 wrong you pass, 5 wrong you fail) and I knew I was probably second guessing myself to death, due to aforementioned baby teething grogginess. Mon Anour still winds me up by saying it was sheer culo, but in the phone with one of his best friends I heard him being impressed considering my (according to him) lack of preparation and the fact that I took it in Italian(the exam uses some turns of phrase not very common in everyday parlance...)

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