05 October 2002

Crush

When was the last time you had one?

So there's this guy in The Industry I Vaguely Work In that I've known for 2 years now. He lives in another city in Europe. Really nice guy. Last year at one of these conference dohickies, it hits me BAM! simultaneously between the eyebrows and the legs that this guy is fucking hot. Like make-me-weak-in-the-knees hot. (I guess I didn't notice it the first year I knew him because technically I was still dating Ex-Shithead #1)

Anyway, I can't stop drooling. I can't even look at him too long for fear that I won't be able to stop staring like some sort of hormonally stricken cretin. Unfortunately, I can't try to chat him up as he has a girlfriend, which makes him Off-Limits. With a Capital O-L. I've been on both ends of the Other Woman Spectrum and the view wasn't purdy from either end.

Funny thing is, I don't think I'd try to chat him up even if he *was* available. I'm sort of content to look at him (albeit in fleeting glimpses). Don't mistake me, either; he has a very nice brain to match the looks. It's just that I turn into a stuttering idjit lately when I talk to him. It's like being a pre-pubescent teenager again, complete with the giggles, blushes if I catch him looking at me, and girlfriends giving me a literal and not so subtle shove into him on the dance floor. (I think my face matched my fire engine red dress at that helpful manuever from my friend)

Anyways, I'm getting a double dose of the droolies, what with the conference in Greece and the next one in Belgium. Funny how crass comments won't raise an eyebrow from me, but making eye contact with this guy makes my cheekbones scream "I was just thinking about how good you would taste."

Off to the next conference....

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