It occurs to me that it might be a better idea in the future to schedule the long overdue leg-n-bikini wax AFTER the long overdue gyno exam.
I figure since they won't let you come in bleeding from the crotch like a stuck pig, forcing the gyno to wade through a veritable pubic jungle (after distinguishing the pubic jungle from the leg jungles) is just desserts for probing my pink bits with scary looking implements. I mean, fuck, i don't let my dates do that until at least 3 hours into the date. Or until they buy me a drink. Whichever comes first.
"Um, doc, that's my knee."
"Oh. Right. Just testing your reflexes. With this, um..."
"And this involves my bellybutton in what way?"
"...Say, have you ever been tested for excessive testoterone?"
Oh well. Next time.