Sesso e la Città Eternà - Welcome to the Passive Aggressive Voices in my Head

Around the end of August I had been so busy with work and the flat that I really hadn't given Shithead much thought. Plus right around that time he was trying to play some "maybe I'll see you tonight,
maybe i won't" game; I told him it was obvious we were both really
really busy and, since I had plans to take a few days off for holidays, I'd call him....

*checked Daily Planner*
*Note 1: Be a Bitch*
*Note 2: See above*

....at some point in September. Cause A) I can't be arsed with head games right now and B) well, it was on my agenda.

Fast forward two weeks later at 11 pm on a Sunday night: BG and I took our friend Almost Perfect Man to our favorite Chinese spot as he spent a large part of the day putting together our armoires. We head to a table upstairs and lo and behold there's Shithead with some chick. I pointedly ignored him; this is my default reaction when it comes to voices arguing in my head.

"He's sleeping with her."
"He's not."
"Is too."
"No way. She's ugly."
"Yes way. She's breathing."
"But we go out to dinner with Curly and other male friends without batting an eyelash."
"Yes, but we aren't named Enemy, Destroyer of Queens, Angel of Broken Hearts, Great Beast that is called Weasel, Prince of Thieving Bastards, Father of Liars, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Mindgames aka Shithead."
(At this point the voices each say "You have a point" and promptly switch stances. Help.)

Because the pay at a ballet company is shit?

Oh dear.

100% Pure Beef Patties...

...using only the finest Sacred Cows

Drop the fucking martyr act, America.

Yet another reason why I love the Bianconeri

Not only did A.S.Roma lose the excellent Cappello (coach) to the bianconeri but they made me orgasm with a mere press release.

Cannavaro. Oh yes, baby. Am so going to Torino this year.

In case you don't recall, Cannavaro is why I want
to be a football when I grow up

Hey! That's the New Rigömörtås Pine Laminate Stretcher in the Photo.

They were jut lucky they didn't have to go shopping with the Best Girlfriend.

Begat By The Unholy Marriage of Marion Jones and Jenna Jameson...

Sitting at the bar with some colleagues in town last week, we marvelled at the plethora of obscure sports in the Olympics.

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"Synchronized Diving?!"
"Hey if Curling made it in..."
"Sure but what's next?"
"Sex. They seem to have enough in the Olympic Village."
"I'd like to see them test for doping. 'But my doctor prescribed the Viagra for my, uh, flu.'"
"You'd have your artistic scores and your technical scores. You, know the difficulty of positions, duration..."
"'Faster, higher, stronger' indeed..."
"I think 'longer' and 'harder' would have to be added also..."
"Would multiple orgasms count for the technical or artistic score?"
"Dunno but just think of all the different categories there could be."
"Hell yeah. Between the various sex toys, positions, and sexual preferences..."
"Cat o' Nine Tails - Hetro.' Has potential."
"(announcer voice)'Representing Italy we have Roberto Cazzogrosso and Valeria Ficaspaccata. They will be attempting the 'Reverse 69 in a Fiat 500' which has a difficulty of 8.5...'"
"(announcer voice)'Oooo that's got to smart. Too much lube and Valeria has finished up on the gearshift. that's going to cost them, Bob...'"
"I dunno you two. I think the judges would have to be involved in some way..."
"Hmmm. Maybe. can you imagine someone's gold being stripped for fake orgasms?"
"They'd have to rename gang-bangs and orgies as 'Relay Sex'"

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This is why my preferred euphemism as of late is Passing the Baton.