Breaking News

Olive: HOLY SHITTTT
Olive: Change your fb status honey pie
Me: Why?
Olive: Ta Liason is now in a relationship
Me: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Olive: I am grinning so hard right now
Olive: I wish I was with you to witness your hives
Me: BITCH
Me: OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
Olive: Oh I am going to have fun with this
Me: Seriously you wrote that and I felt like I'd just gone on the first hill of a massive roller-coaster. Whoah
Olive: Are you freaking out yet?
Me: Um, a bit. The low blood sugar isn't helping
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. OK FINE I'M FREAKING OUT A LOT
Olive: Well I just left my thoughts on this change
Olive: Holy shit
Me: *whimper* oh shite
Olive: Why am I freaking out with you
Olive: And he put your anniversary down
Me: I hate you Olive
Olive: 16 march, correct?
Me: HOLY FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?
Me: I am going to start hyperventilating in about 2 seconds
Olive: Doll just breathe
Me: OMG HE DID
Olive: You know that you are in a relationship this is just another weird step to confirm
Olive: And he just linked it to you
Me: SHIT
Me: Logically I know the FB relationship status change freakout is silly
Me: but dude, I haven't told my dad that I'm seeing someone yet :D
Me: (Dad and I don't talk a whole lot, which is why I haven't mentioned it to him - I think I last talked to him for US Fathers' Day because he didn't pick up his phone for his birthday.)
Olive: Well its probably better to tell him when its official
Olive: Jesus that means you and Ta Liason have been together for over 5 months now
Me: Time flies when you're fucking like rabid weasels in heat

---

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Me: "Relationship request" from Ma Liason
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Olive: Accept Accept
Me: I will
Me: just...
Me: FUCK
Olive: You better or i will whoop your ass
Me: I WILL ONCE I STOP HYPERVENTILATING
Me: bnbn ghb
Me: Sorry, that was a message from my forehead
Olive: You better take yourself off chat if you don't plan on accepting soon
Olive: You know; hide
Me: ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Me: DONE
Me: GOING TO HYPERVENTILATE SOME MORE NOW
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FACEBOOK YOU SUCK
Me: It used to be you could set your relationship status without it publishing all over the fucking place
Olive: Can't you hide it?
Me: Yeah and how would that look to Ma Liason
Olive: No, I mean from certain people???
Me: nope
Me: just checked
Me: There used to be a setting "Do not publish changes in my relationship status to my feed"
Me: No longer or I can't find it
Olive: Just bend over and take it like a bitch sweetheart
Me: I'M NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR ANAL
Me: :D
Olive: HAHAHA
Olive: Too bad I can't liquor you up
Olive: Does this mean the ti amo is coming soon?
Me: OH FUCK OLIVE
Me: You are entirely too good at the "Give Me Hives" game

---

Me: Dammit my dad just commented on my relationship status
Olive: Hahaha
Olive: And what are you going to say
Me: Dunno
Me: Either "*grins* erm, Hi Dad :D"
Me: or "Well, if you'd pick up the phone every once in a while... :D"
Olive: Let's go with the first
Me: Ja. I'll save the passive aggressiveness for the actual phone conversation
Olive: Exactly my thoughts
Me: Why do I feel like I've just be caught playing Spin the Bottle?
Olive: haha
Olive: So are you using fb in Italian or English, because if you have ii in Italian, won't it come up with "engaged to"?
Olive: Never mind I am a dumb blonde that gets lost in her own bedroom
Me: No, I just flipped back and forth to see exactly what fb was using lately as a translation
Me: "impegnata con" FYI
Olive: Committed?
Olive: Is this different that what they used to use?
Me: Yeah I think the translation used to be crappier
Me: I think it used to be "fidanzata con"
Me: Now "engaged" translates to "fidanzata ufficalmente con"
Me: Which cracks my shit up
Olive: Officially engaged to?
Olive: That sounds strange
Me: Think about it. There is no term in Italian for "dating"
Me: But yet fidanzata gets tossed around as a synonym for a situation where you are just dating and haven't yet put a ring on it
Olive: No, there isn't really is there
Olive: So you go from being single to engaged
Olive: Cazzzzoooooo
Olive: No wonder the men are so fucked up
Olive: Ta Liason excluded
Me: So fb finally translted things somewhat properly
Me: impegnata implies in a relationship, but no ring
Me: fidanzata ufficalmente con means there's a ring on it
Olive: So when Ta Liason wants to put a ring on it, what do you prefer?
Olive: :P
Me: FUCK YOU OLIVE HAVE YOU NOT GIVEN ME ENOUGH HIVES TODAY ALREADY?!?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Olive: :P ppbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt
Olive: I know
Me: Wait, what do you mean by what do I prefer?
Olive: Enagement ring
Olive: Or are you going to do traditional Italian and ignore that time honored American tradition?
Me: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
Me: Well, I didn't get an engagement ring last time
Olive: That's where it went all wrong....
Olive: joking
Me: And to be honest, I'd rather be all practical n' shit again - that money would be put to better use towards a house or a vacation or something else
Olive: I can't believe you are actually going down this conversation path
Olive: It's fantastic
Me: IT'S A THEORETICAL OLIVE
Me: :D
Me: My dad just posted: 'Grandma keeps asking me about your "social" life and all I tell her is I am the last to know!'
Olive: haha
Me: I love that my grandmother is asking about my sex life
Olive: 'Social life' dear