20 August 2011

More Summer Excerpts

Will: Feed me.
Me: I am going to call you Seymour for that one.
Will: Grow a penis and come make love to me?
Me: Nope, sorry. Apart from the no penis thing, my hip bones are already bruised enough
Will: Damn you.
Will: What will I eat?!
Will: I guess I could chew on some tylenol pm and wash it down with vodka.
Will: Is that a well-balanced meal?
Me: For a drama queen, yes :D
Will: Bitch.

My latest auto-gol in Italian
A friend, looking at pics of the Alpine getaway: Aò, ma sempre con 'sto culo in tutte le foto.
Me: Mica è colpa mia. Mi prende sempre da dietro.
Me: *dies when I realise what i just said while everyone else is laughing their asses off*
"Eesh, always with your ass in all of the photos."
"It's not my fault. He takes (pictures of) me always from behind."

Will: I knew it was time to leave when I started playing with Olive's nipples

Me: We were pretty toasty last night. I'd feel awkward about Ma Liason not really drinking, but then I remember that me getting drunk means that he get teh butt seks.

Me: I need to charge my phone and brush my teeth with something other than cock.
Olive: Yes you do and scrub well before I see you tonight: I don't want to snog cock breath

Me: I want a stripper pole.
Olive: Do you want Ta Liason to have a heart attack?
Olive: I think last night we promised him a threesome for his birthday
Me: Or something about watching. This is why Will should not leave us alone and unsupervised.

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