14 August 2011

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Wherein Olive & I dissect my 4 day Alpine getaway with Ma Liason and a friend of his...

"The food was so good. But oh my god, TMI warning, but I could not take a dump for 3 days. I finally managed some pissant little turd the the night before we left. Ma Liason apparently had the same problem."

"Please tell me you two did not get blocked up because you didn't want to fart in front of each other."

"So the A-word was used during the trip."


"Amore. As in, 'Fammi una foto con il mio amore.'"

"Oh." *snicker*

"Ja. And the beard burn lasted for another two days and I almost had sex in the changing cubicle of the thermal baths."

"That's sort of hot."

"I know. I'm sort of regretting not doing it, but our friends were already waiting for us. Plus if anyone looked under the door to see if it was occupied, the foot position would have been a dead giveaway. I didn't really want to have someone banging on the door going 'Aò ma smettete di scopare!' in a Northern accent and then kicking us out of the baths."

"You know you're fucked, right?"

"Why, the whole A-word thing? Yeah, I know."

"No, the fact that after 4 days together and after the 6 hour drive back, he goes home for an hour before work and then comes over to your house after to spend the night. Do you guys see each other every night?"

*evasive ummm-ing ensues as I try to think when the last time I slept alone was...*

"Not to mention there was that whole 'I could never hurt her' pronouncement last night as well. You're fucked."

"Ack. I know. We both were all melty and 'Awwwwww' at that, eh?"

"Yeah, and I totally wanted to vomit at the same time."

"And I had a distinct urge to break out in hives."

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