07 August 2011

Will & Olive-isms

Olive: *squees* "Look at that cute baby. See, it's smiling at me."
Will: "Olive, it's smiling at you because it looks at your enormous rack and thinks 'Dinner.'"

Olive: "I always wear underwear. Except sometimes."

Will (to Olive): You have a yellow stain on the back of your shirt and your boob is popping out.

Will: (smsing us) No you morons that was the wrong stop and now I'm lost.
Olive: Maybe we should put a GPS tracker on him.
Me: Yeah, we can shove it up his happy place.

(at the beach)
Olive: The entire lower half of your face is covered in beard burn.
Me: Ugh, I know. My lips feel huge. Do I have a mark on the side of my neck?
Olive: Yup. Nice hickey.
Me: Bugger. I haven't had a hickey in years.
Olive: I'm surprised you can walk today.
Me: Yeah, I'm lucky I don't have fingerprint bruises on my ass. It's ok, though. Check out his back.
Olive: Holy shit.
Me: Wolverine has nothing on me baby.

Olive: so are you ready to change your relationship status yet?
Me: OMG change my relationship status? THE HIVESSSS THEYS ITCHESSSSS!
Olive: It's obvious he cares for you a lot.
Olive: I'm waiting for the "Ti amo" to slip out
Olive: I love this game: Let's Make You Break Out in Hives. So much fun.
Me: Evil bitch.

Me: Who do we have to blow to land you the consultancy?
Olive: Yeah.
Will: They're two females.
Me: I can lick pussy if necessary.
Olive: Blackmail could work too.

Me: I think my cervix needs an ice pack.
Olive: TMI, my dear. T.M.I.

Me: Hey Hooker
Will: Listen, Lafayette - not sure how it happened, but I really want you to get out of my friend's body and give her back her pattern of speech.

Olive: I was the only female with 7 men sitting in a circle around me. It was like the beginning of a bad porn.

Will: I'm very nice to people.
Me: Unless they have cheap ugly shoes.

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