He also hates the beach. He has skin like a red-head's; one hour on a pedalo in the middle of an Abbruzzo lake resulted in him looking like a lobster for almost a week. So I was caught by surprise by earlier in the week when he proposed going to the beach.
"Andiamo al mare domenica? Magari vedi un po se Will e Olive vogliano venire pure."So after a bit of a late start due to the weather forecast faking us out 1, we all met up at our local beach hangout, whereupon I promptly slathered SPF 50 all over Ma Liason; I was having no repeats of our daytrip to Abbruzzo. And it worked :) Viva kiddie sunblock. Plus, for my excellence in sunblock application I got a back massage later. I'm pretty sure that's just a socially acceptable way of feeling me up in public, not that I'm complaining...
"Cosa? Ma tu odi andare al mare."
"Ebbene ma se ci sei tu è diverso..."
Our last dip proved a bit chilly as the wind picked up, and Ma Liason grabbed my hand and started sprinting down the beach. That in itself had to be amusing for spectators, because I run like an ex-ballet dancer: with pointed toes. But if that was mildly amusing, then they got a pretty good chuckle out of what happened next.
Apparently running down the beach wasn't exertion enough to banish the post-swim goosebumps, so he turns around and throws me over his shoulder and then circuitously jogs back to our lettini, my ass in the air and me faux-cursing up a storm. Well, I'm not sure how much faux there was, but I was trying to remember there were lots of kids around, and managed to avoid the porco dio at least. Not sure how well I fared for the rest of it, as the blood rushing to my head along with the mental image of my ass bobbing along the beach made me vaguely incoherent. Right side up once again, a few ass slaps were exchanged and I promised revenge: "Sono cazzi tuoi dopo, eh?"
And Will got a huge kick out of my flatmates' friend asking me & Ma Liason how long we had been seeing each other. I haven't even begun to mentally tally up when he immediately responds "4 months." And as I look at him and sputter something (again) incoherent, he adds "March 16th."
*agog, sputter sputter sputter, agog*
I would put good money on my face being utterly comical at that point, because my internal monologue was something like:
"Wait, we have an anniversary?"I'm wondering how long it's going to take for me to stop twitching every time he uses the word "girlfriend"...
"Mah magical treasure trove, let me show you it 2
"Awwwwwwwww that's so sweet"
*sigh* I'm gonna have to change the Ma Liason moniker soon, ain't I?
1partly cloudy my fat ass - sorry you got faked out Olive :(
2 Much to Will's consternation one day, Olice & I discovered that pirates are a vast source of euphemisms