04 August 2012

Knocked Up - Ungainly Stasis

With two and a half more months to go, I've already reached the point where I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. Peanut is merrily growing and kicking (and as of yesterday the kicks have gone from "Oooo look at my cute little belly earthquake" to "Holy shit that hurts")

I'm reaching the "ungainly" stage, I think and apparently am carrying it all out front. Friends swear that from behind you can't tell I'm massively pregnant.They also say my face hasn't changed, either. Me, I can see the beginning puffiness of a double chin looming every time I'm sitting in the passenger seat. And when I put on my bikini the one time we've made it out to the beach thus far, I was horrified at the Mom butt staring back at me from the mirror.

*shoves fingers in ears* Listening to my friends, la la la la la. And wearing maxi dresses whenever i leave the house...

But overall, I've got this feeling of stasis. Just sort of an "eh" feeling, not really waiting or anticipating really. Yes, we are waiting for Peanut to thrash my vag and make her grand entrance into this world. And I can see Mon Amour getting more antsy-pantsy every time he puts his ear against my belly.

Maybe that's it. As he grows more anxious, I'm getting all eye-of-the-hurricane, inner-Buddah zen calm. The only thing I am not zen calm about would be how much mosquitoes seem to like my prenatal-vitamin tinged blood...

Hey Buddah, my belly is bigger than yours and I'm definitely more boobalicous than you. Boo-yeah.

A completely unrelated helpful tip for you all:

A friend mentioned the other day that when telemarketers call, they fake being the housekeeper and say that the owner won't be home until after 7pm. I've modified this after a persistent telemarketer called at 7.30 followed by 8.30. I told the next one that the owner was on holidays until September.


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