Things I will Never Understand #1001

When a person does something that they know you most likely won't approve of, tells you all about it, and then ends the confession with "I had to tell you or else I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye any more".

What the fuck is this logic?!

Knowing that you have the choice of:

A) Engaging in said activity, knowing that at the very least I don't approve and more likely will commence activities of my own that will be detrimental to your mental and physical health.

or B) Just saying no

if you really give two shits about my opinion of things, why choose guilt-inducing A? Why value my opinion if you're going to do it anyway? What is this fucking pat-on-the-back tack-on of "Well, I did X which I know you reaalllly don't like, but now that I've told you, the guilt weighing on my karma has been negated by my honesty and I can look you in the eye now with a clear conscience."

The only thing you are going to be looking in the eye is my fist, motherfucker. Why?

Because honesty is not some fucking "Get Out Of Jail Free" card for the consequences of your actions. Nice try, but pedal that crack somewhere else 'cause I ain't smoking.

More Fun with referrals

from www.ask.com:

are you hornier when your on your period?

Yes. I also have a tendency to bludgeon illiterate your/you're manglers with a rusty dull spoon or the nearest bloody tampax, depending on whichever instrument is closest to hand.

edit:You peeps who found your way here by Googling for 'ass lint' disturb me. A lot. But not as much as those searching for 'penis lint'. I mean, come on, penis lint?! What the fuck kind of fuzzy underwear does one indoss to encourage the spawning of penis lint? Is this a plushie thing? Gah.

Trials and tribulations of a Web Slut

And no, I ain't talking about that search engine referral for 'anal camwhore'

I'm trying to be a conscientious little Web Slut and redo layouts on the work websites strictly in XHTML and CSS. It's the later that is giving me headaches. Fix it in one browser, breaks in another.

This bug was planted up my ass when a friend downloaded the main site to his cellphone. With the liquid table layout, 'twas mighty ugly.

Floats and Margins and ems, oh my!

Make it stop mommy, make it stop.....

The answer is "A New Liver"

What is "What I want for My Birthday Today" Alex.

Nothing quite like being in an alcoholic haze for around three weeks. The end of December 'till the beginning of January is Par-tahy Central. We have:

• Christmas Eve
• Christmas
• The Best Girl Friend's Birthday
• New Years Eve
• Befana (Epiphany - Big deal here)
• My 3rd Annual 25th Birthday

Plus all of our regular nightly excursions. It's almost enough to make a girl hang up her stilettos and swap the white pleather pants for sweats and a nice cup of tea (note the word 'Almost') Highlights include:

• Drinking half a bottle of expensive Tequila as well as spumante brings out my Inner Lap Dancer. As I was attracting more attention than the nude dancers on the stage, the bouncer came over and asked us to stop having sex with our clothes on in the middle of the dance floor.
• Getting a swinging door slammed in my face and then having to give a friend first aid three minutes later as he knocked over a bunch of glasses, jumped on the Best Girl Friend, knocking both of them over and ending up with him landing with his hand in the pile of broken glasses.

I'm attempting a quiet b-day, but I just know it's not going to happen. I'll delve into the recent weirdness of my life after I recover from the massive fecking hangover that will ensue tomorrow. Toodles.

State of the Naval Address

Just a quick note to let you faithful 10 readers and those of you stumbling into the Favoloso Mondo through sundry search terms that i'm still around, just busy.

Work as usual, plus various family visits is limiting my spare time. My middle sister was here at the beginning of November and currently my dad, youngest uncle, and 79 year old grandmother are visiting rome for the first time. It's proving to be less mentally scarring than I had originally anticipated, which is a Good Thing(tm).

I've even snagged myself some new webhosting to eventually post the old archives. Well, as soon as I find someone with a credit card so I can buy myself a domain. Eventually I'll update and continue Lo sguardo assassino. Like after the rellies have gone home. In the meantime, I leave you with a list of search engine referrals to amuse yourselves.

• groin itch
• belly button guys
• american girl rome
• girls free in rome
• colletion scout italy
• lip smackers allergy
• i start sneezing
• antihistemine
• attractive male belly buttons
• belly busting exercises
• belly button competition
• belly button lint
• crotch gazing
• Food inside belly button
• kissing her belly button
• big belly button ladies
• nipple twisting
• she gets around pic