Vidiot's comment in this AskMe thread gave me a brief flashback to my twin half brothers' baptism 6 years ago.
Middle Sis & I hadn't set foot in a church for quite some time. The church was of a rather large modern design and, with only a small group of people to view a baker's dozen worth of babes being baptised, very echo-y.
We both turned to each other in horrified amusement, the same whispered comment erupting out of our mouths at the same time:
"Did he just say he was going to annoint their foreheads with the Sacramental Jism?!"
26 February 2004
WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR OF CONSUMERISM.
Praise Jesus Amen, Pass the Plate Around Again. I just received this from my dad:
Though the Eucaristic Host does sort of taste like it....
...the appropriate Catholic festival you should be searching for is LENT, not "Lint".
Regards,
A Recovering Catholic
This public service announcement brought to you by the search engine referrals:
"when is the catholic holiday of lint?"
and
"when the fuck is lint?"
Regards,
A Recovering Catholic
This public service announcement brought to you by the search engine referrals:
"when is the catholic holiday of lint?"
and
"when the fuck is lint?"
13 February 2004
Google Toolbar Induces Projectile Vomiting
My Google toolbar has decorated itself for Valentine's Day. Hurl. Where's the "I'm Feeling Like Slowly Torturing That Fat Diaper Wearing Fuck With the Heart Tipped Arrows" button?
addendum or however the fuck you spell it: I think the referrals from ask.com are trying to tell me something:
"what does it mean when girls get wet?"
A) It's raining.
B) She's about to throw you on your back and ride you like an epileptic being electrocuted on the mechanical ponies outside Walmart.
Pick one.
addendum or however the fuck you spell it: I think the referrals from ask.com are trying to tell me something:
"what does it mean when girls get wet?"
A) It's raining.
B) She's about to throw you on your back and ride you like an epileptic being electrocuted on the mechanical ponies outside Walmart.
Pick one.
06 February 2004
Things I will Never Understand #1001
When a person does something that they know you most likely won't approve of, tells you all about it, and then ends the confession with "I had to tell you or else I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye any more".
What the fuck is this logic?!
Knowing that you have the choice of:
A) Engaging in said activity, knowing that at the very least I don't approve and more likely will commence activities of my own that will be detrimental to your mental and physical health.
or B) Just saying no
if you really give two shits about my opinion of things, why choose guilt-inducing A? Why value my opinion if you're going to do it anyway? What is this fucking pat-on-the-back tack-on of "Well, I did X which I know you reaalllly don't like, but now that I've told you, the guilt weighing on my karma has been negated by my honesty and I can look you in the eye now with a clear conscience."
The only thing you are going to be looking in the eye is my fist, motherfucker. Why?
Because honesty is not some fucking "Get Out Of Jail Free" card for the consequences of your actions. Nice try, but pedal that crack somewhere else 'cause I ain't smoking.
What the fuck is this logic?!
Knowing that you have the choice of:
A) Engaging in said activity, knowing that at the very least I don't approve and more likely will commence activities of my own that will be detrimental to your mental and physical health.
or B) Just saying no
if you really give two shits about my opinion of things, why choose guilt-inducing A? Why value my opinion if you're going to do it anyway? What is this fucking pat-on-the-back tack-on of "Well, I did X which I know you reaalllly don't like, but now that I've told you, the guilt weighing on my karma has been negated by my honesty and I can look you in the eye now with a clear conscience."
The only thing you are going to be looking in the eye is my fist, motherfucker. Why?
Because honesty is not some fucking "Get Out Of Jail Free" card for the consequences of your actions. Nice try, but pedal that crack somewhere else 'cause I ain't smoking.
03 February 2004
More Fun with referrals
from www.ask.com:
are you hornier when your on your period?
Yes. I also have a tendency to bludgeon illiterate your/you're manglers with a rusty dull spoon or the nearest bloody tampax, depending on whichever instrument is closest to hand.
edit:You peeps who found your way here by Googling for 'ass lint' disturb me. A lot. But not as much as those searching for 'penis lint'. I mean, come on, penis lint?! What the fuck kind of fuzzy underwear does one indoss to encourage the spawning of penis lint? Is this a plushie thing? Gah.
are you hornier when your on your period?
Yes. I also have a tendency to bludgeon illiterate your/you're manglers with a rusty dull spoon or the nearest bloody tampax, depending on whichever instrument is closest to hand.
edit:You peeps who found your way here by Googling for 'ass lint' disturb me. A lot. But not as much as those searching for 'penis lint'. I mean, come on, penis lint?! What the fuck kind of fuzzy underwear does one indoss to encourage the spawning of penis lint? Is this a plushie thing? Gah.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)